Today I wake to an erie silence that is only briefly broken by the fall of an icicle from my rooftop. As I slowly rise from my bed I notice that it seems brighter than normal outside and I move quickly to the window. It is when I open the blinds that I realize that it is a perfect winter morning on this day. It looks as though there is 3" of new snow atop the 14" that was already there and the sun is shining so brightly in the sky. With almost a sense of urgency I get dressed in warmer clothes, grab my camera and head outside. As I begin to open the door, the feeling of calm that intially woke me strengthens to a feeling of need, to understand the beauty of nature and what it has given to us on this day.
With each step there is a crunch in the snow and a feeling of emotion that takes over me. With every step that follows, I wonder, what is this, this enchanting force of happiness, struggle and pain that seems to follow me. Why is it, that on this simply beautiful day, there can be any sorrow that exists inside me. It is then, that I see that it is each step that I take. It is when the heal of my foot is layed upon the ground, at that point that I know it was you. It was you, who for so many months seemed to have this need to consume all that I had inside me and it is now that I am amazed by the control that I have maintained when thinking about you. At any moment months ago, the mere throught of you would have held my heart captive, but today I am able to pass by it as though only a fleeting thought.
It is the silence of winter that is surrounding me now, in this moment. With every step, I hear the snow melting from rooftops, trees blowing in the wind and my heart beating. It is now that I know with every breath that I take, I can make the choice to allow you to take over my soul or to walk away. This is my winter silence, it is no longer a battle in my heart but a choice in my mind.
With each step there is a crunch in the snow and a feeling of emotion that takes over me. With every step that follows, I wonder, what is this, this enchanting force of happiness, struggle and pain that seems to follow me. Why is it, that on this simply beautiful day, there can be any sorrow that exists inside me. It is then, that I see that it is each step that I take. It is when the heal of my foot is layed upon the ground, at that point that I know it was you. It was you, who for so many months seemed to have this need to consume all that I had inside me and it is now that I am amazed by the control that I have maintained when thinking about you. At any moment months ago, the mere throught of you would have held my heart captive, but today I am able to pass by it as though only a fleeting thought.
It is the silence of winter that is surrounding me now, in this moment. With every step, I hear the snow melting from rooftops, trees blowing in the wind and my heart beating. It is now that I know with every breath that I take, I can make the choice to allow you to take over my soul or to walk away. This is my winter silence, it is no longer a battle in my heart but a choice in my mind.
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